Let’s talk about the most common problem men have all over the world, the failure to execute at the moment when you notice and want to approach, a beautiful women.
How many times have you asked yourself why you did not take action? Why didn’t I speak to her when I let myself down? Sometimes you actually knew that you could and you still did nothing. Agreed?
Because fear can be difficult to mentally cache when it happens. Let’s look at the steps to take when fear triggers, and the procedures you should be looking to action. This is actually one of the important core values in relation to confidence which you should look to master, when meeting a girl which you like out in public.
Recognise like a #Boss
Admit and embrace your own trigger of fear. I quite like to look into times before our rapid evolution, sometimes I notice that our genes don’t actually know we have evolved, society does. Back in the day when we were cavemen, we would be with our clan going about our day as a hunter-gatherer, until the moment we see a predator, or better yet a mammoth – and at that moment your body knows, and you know. It’s a feeling which you know about right? But in this context, it’s a beautiful women.
So you’re doing something in the supermarket and boom, she’s standing there. Psychological fear, the first one – you may be reminded of a past fear of being rejected and this can quickly come back up again, and also for a moment twist your current reality, this happens on a psychological level. On an emotional level, you can become nervous and anxious, making excuses to yourself like you may not feel witty or attractive right now. Physical, you might start sweating, your heart rate may increase. And before you know it you’re being revealed on a physical level. So whenever you feel these psychological, emotional and physical feelings, understand that this is your fear speaking to you like a #Boss.
Accept it like a #Boss
The only way to eliminate the shame with your approach anxiety is to accept it. My game doesn’t work, I can’t do this… shame shame shame is now running down your spine and you’re the only one who knows actually it’s just you against you in this. All of this shit is going in on your system and everyone around you is completely oblivious! She doesn’t even know you’re there! So, tap into your fear and remember can all become afraid all the time, embrace it and tap into your fear, acknowledge this and accept it. Understand your heart rates rising, recognise it and acknowledge it, yea, I’m fucking afraid. And it’s totally normal.
Worst case/best case.
Let’s look at the worst case, you’re walking down the street, hot girl triggers your fear and you approach her. And she says “Oh my god you’re pathetic” or “you seriously think you can open me beta?” – all of a sudden another guy comes and points his finger at you and takes a photo and laughs and suddenly you’re standing there and your jeans fall down and you find yourself sniveling and standing there with everyone laughing at you. Ok, slightly exaggerated, but this is probably your worst case scenario right? Suddenly there’s a group of people around you laughing and taking photo’s for social and then your mum sees it and calls you and tells you you’re a disgrace and your world is turned upside down right? One of our biggest fears is also a fear of other groups of people and being singled out. But in real life, what actually happens is she ignores you or tells you to fuck off, you get rejected. But there is something worse which can come up, the feeling that you flaked and didn’t even try. Afterwards, it can be pretty shit, I feel much worse if I bailed out because you never know what could have happened. It can slowly eat at you. So lets look at the best case, what if. Let’s just say hypothetically for a moment that this goes well. You walk up to a girl with your milk in your bag, sweaty from the gym in an old t-shirt you’re not feeling witty and your beards a little fizzy and you’re definitely not in your best shoes, but you do it. “Hey what’s up” you talk to her, try to be funny, not every joke hits home, you exchange numbers, she’s quite interesting, you go on a date, you connect, more so over time, then you’re on another date and she’s an amazingly beautiful 10 and you’re alone with her having a great time on the sofa at her place and life could not be better; you’re absolutely loving the moment. And you don’t worry she won’t kiss you if you try and you just kiss her. So let’s go back to the physical level, you feel her lips and you feel her hair and this is soothing your alpha feelings, “look at me” you’re thinking, “I’m making out with a stunner”, “I’m out of my league” and “she loves me” and “the sky’s the limit for the relationship”. And on a psychological level, no more fear, ease, empowerment, to know you can do this, you no longer need to doubt yourself. Feelings of, I was wrong, I can, I can be the guy I want to be for her and for me, instead of being back on the street wondering if you’ll be rejected. And not even knowing what would or could have happened if you didn’t seize the moment – by Bowers.
So lets’ recap, you’ve learned you can become the funny guy and socially acceptable to beautiful women instead of fear and social trauma.
The magic behind what you’ve just read? Paint out the worse case in your mind, remember the jeans falling down and people pointing at you? It’s never going to happen, but make it funny in your mind, smile about it because it’s actually never going to happen, the worst case really is a figment of your imagination so laugh about it to yourself. She might just blank you, so what you don’t know that yet and you went for it, she’s forced to notice that, the rest is about you which we’ll touch on in other articles. Paint out the best case, which always makes it worth it in my opinion, it shines out the worst case even though you’ve actually made it comincal now with your confidence.
The moment you have said Hi. You’ve already won, our neurological male minds tend to reach out to all the matters of the spiders web with this girl at the heart of the web – but what if, yea but this could happen, I might look stupid, rejection could be heavy could I cope, whats the best texhnice, etc etc etc… Replace it all with one neurological impression of this event. “The moment I can say Hi. I’ve already won.”
Keep repeating this, “the moment I said hi, I’ve already won”. Because you’ve rid yourself of the alternative flaking of not doing anything. If she exchanges numbers, bonus, if she smiles, bonus, if she seems a little off, who cares right? You’re a step ahead, you’re able to read her body language like a #boss and granted yourself your own opertunity to be funny and witty.If you can seriously keep thinking “the moment I said hi, I’ve won” you’ve taken fear and processed it, acknowledged it and reverted your fear trigger into an action.
Make fear your greatest ally.
Nothing beats that feeling. Convert fear into action. Recognise, acknowledge, worse case/best case, the moment I’ve said hi I win… Go over there my friend, and win – like a #Boss
Sourced image: Askmen